And oh yes…..writing.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, "Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think." As we write, edit and self-promote we wait for the phone to ring, a letter to come through the mail or an email to be sent asking us to allow someone else into our writing life. As children many of us have dreamed of being on the New York Times Best Seller List and as Oprah gained clout in the publishing world some of us dreamed of the her reading our book and wanting to enter into our writing life. The goal for many of us started out as seeking success and fame. We dreamed of it at night, driving down the road, at our jobs. If you are like me you chased movies thinking all the while "I can write that." But the time comes in every writer's life when the fame doesn't come and success takes on a new meaning.

As I have matured as a person I have matured as a writer. As I have learned how to say "No" as a complete sentence I have become more responsible to my own goals and aspirations. As I have become more loyal and responsible to myself I have become less easily distracted. Getting side-tracked from our own lives is human nature. The length of time we allow ourselves to be side-tracked is what separates successful famous writers from “want to be” writers. I no longer get side-tracked for long periods of time. As I have learned to say "No" as a complete sentence my awareness of what distracts me has become more apparent. I am no longer a slave to distraction I become aware of it, I accept the minimal amount of time living life with others will keep me distracted and then I do what I can to still keep the progress of my writing life moving forward.

Being a writer is more than just writing. I am an editor, a publicist, an IT person and I am a researcher. I must always being wearing one of these many hats even when I am being distracted by life. An author friend in her blog a while back mentioned this very same concept of a writing life being more than just writing. In the past I made the mistake of thinking I had only one project going on and that project was going to make or break me as a writer. I was setting myself up to fail before I even started. I have had a psyche change when it comes to a single project and single developmental stage of a project. I must always be moving. I have discovered constant movement is the key to being disciplined. I may not have a blog entry for a few weeks, but I am editing and researching and self-promoting on a daily bases.

I often think of all the time I wasted not realizing a writing life is more than just writing. Mary McLeod Bethune said, "Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt." I can choose to dwell on the past and how I wasted time setting myself up for failure before I even started my writing project or I can forgive myself for not knowing what I didn't know. I must never forget what I have learned of my past mistakes, but I need not paralyze myself with regret either. I mentioned above that I have had a psyche change in my writing life. I no longer have one project my writing is broken up into many projects that are all concurrent and require the same amount of discipline, responsibility and attention.

When I forgive myself for not knowing what I didn't know then my attitude changes in regards to how I think about myself. When I am unforgiving of myself I am resentful and angry. Resentment and anger clog up my creativity causing me to talk myself out of writing or editing a word that day. I am not moving when I am not open to my creativity and the discipline this writing life asks of me. I was hurting myself more than I am helping. To not know is one thing and easily forgivable. Being aware and still not writing is unforgiveable.

My daily writing life productivity is contingent upon my view of myself. If I am accepting of who I am, I am comfortable enough with myself to say "No" as a complete sentence. A successful writing life is one where balance prevails. All things in moderation are a must for this writer's life. It has taken years for me to find a balance in my life. There must be 8 hours of work, 8 hours of play and 8 hours of rest. Of course this is the ideal and not realistically attainable for this writer, but it is does lay a path for a way of living that allows me to juggle a multitude of balls in the air without feeling guilty over what I think I should be doing.

The 8 hour ideal tells me when to change gears in my day and helps me not give in to my own irresponsibility. Part of being comfortable in my own skin is not letting emotions rule my rational thoughts. To be all consumed with one thing is to let other things just as important fall to the wayside. There is no balance in this type of living. The psyche change that has occurred in this writer's writing life is the need for moderation in all my affairs has melded somehow to my ability to plan out a day or a week simply by saying "No."

Teachers appear in your life at the most unexpected times. The lessons we learn from these teachers we can either incorporate in our lives or ignore continuing to repeat our behavior until the pain brings us to our knees. Unfortunately for this writer I had to repeat a few lessons before I learn how to move forward in my writing life. I finally came to believe writing in isolation does not mean my writing life is one of isolation. The key to my finding balance in my writing life comes from my outreach to other writers and theirs to me. I talk about what I am doing and how I am doing it and I listen to how others have had success, success I want and am aspiring to attain.

I chose to accept my own unacceptable writing behavior because I had no one else to compare it to. Now that I have other writers in my life I am accountable not only to myself, but to live up to what I write of writing. Other writers are reading about how I am finding success so I must live up to what I write. I am responsible and I must be accountable on a daily bases by keeping my writing life moving forward on some project level.

Today I refuse to carry with me resentments I had directed at myself. I have changed my attitude to one of gratitude for the gifts I have been given. I see the world just a little bit differently than other people and that vision and the ability to articulate what it is I see are unmerited gifts I no longer am choosing to waste. I can learn from the past, but I no longer have to repeat it. I am free in this writing life today and every day I continue to move forward on one of my writing projects of editing, researching, self-promoting and oh yes…..writing.