Monday, May 23, 2011

Writing is a personal inventory.......

Samuel Butler wrote, "I care about the truth not for truth's sake but for my own." When I write I write my truth, my vision, my experience, my memories, feelings, thoughts, ideas. When I am writing at my best I am admitting I am human, I have flaws, I fail, I struggle, and at times I don't succeed. When I write I am acknowledging I am not perfect, I am human. In my imperfection I am filled with mistakes.

Writing is a series of mini confessions made to readers. Admitting my humanness isn't easy. Having the courage to reveal the imperfections in myself through my writing is trudging the road of self-discovery. When I write of the people in my life I am writing them through my eyes. I write how my mistakes affect them and how their humanness affects me.

Pretending is something non-writers do. Non-writers pretend they know what another feels, thinks and experiences because it is easier. Pretending is easier to write; it takes no courage. Pretending we feel something we never experienced is easier than writing what we truly have experienced. When non-writers pretend they justify, rationalize and ultimately lie. To lie is inviting because it demands nothing of us and that nothingness is reflected on the page. The price a non-writer pays for not taking the risk of writing their own experience is that they never become the writer they truly are.

Writers face who they are head on. We dig deep into the recesses of our lives and dig for material readers will identify with. Writers write of feelings, experiences and thoughts. We face our guilt, shame, we deal with our remorse and we write through our fears. Non-writers drag these feelings around with them like a duffel bag. Writers seek an alternative to such dragging every time they sit at the laptop to write.

Writing is a personal inventory of how we have lived in our life outside of writing. In writing writers admit they are human and use their human condition to create epics, sagas and classics. Writers free themselves of the bondage of self. Non-writers hold onto the bondage of self because they are afraid they won't exist without the pain. Writers get beyond the pain by writing our fears and taking responsibility for the actions and in-actions in our lives. Writers free themselves of their secrets, we accept our imperfections, and we love ourselves because others find us so difficult to love. In order to be the writer I truly am I must accept the person in me who makes mistakes and who is imperfectly human.

Writing takes courage. Cowards call themselves writers when they aren't writing of themselves. When as writers we admit to our errors; we begin to make amends to ourselves and to those who try to love us. The risk I take as a writer to face myself and write what I fear, my secrets, I achieve the personal writing success I have always craved, yearned for. As a writer I write the truth. When I was a non-writer I didn't have the courage to write the truth.

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