Feeling the experience......

"It is never too late to be what you might have been" according to George Eliot, but how many times have I let the thought that it is too late keep me from writing. The mysteries that remain in the world pale in comparison to the mysteries that live in my mind. Each day I wake up there are new possibilities to explore, there are new truths to uncover and there is more knowledge to acquire. The discoveries within me are endless, yet I still look outward for experiences to feel and write.

With each new experience I have I develop a deeper connection with self. I nurture me a little more so I can write of the feelings of the experience within me a little deeper. It is feelings that readers identify with more so than the experience. The more I reveal of what I feel the more I open myself up to a deeper experience with my readers.

As a writer I don't know what I am going to write about until I feel the feelings of the experience I am writing. Every story begins with a feeling felt during an experience that marked my life, my mind and created conflict to some degree in my surroundings. The feeling could be empathy for another's loss, excitement for a loved one's success or confusion when my world crumbles and I don't understand why.

Once I know the feeling I am going to write I write the story of the experience. I close my mind to all things other than the feelings attached to the experience. The story begins with a closed mind completely focused and ends with a variety of varied possibilities. As I write the story my mind becomes less closed and I become more willing to explore.

My birthright is to experience as much as possible. My creative right is to feel my experiences as much as possible. My writing right is to share those feelings and experiences as much as possible. If I filter my feelings and my experiences I am not living my birth right, my creative right or my writing right. If I write the truth of my experience and my feelings of the experience then I am free to write. If I am holding back, filtering, not telling the whole truth I am not free I am static in a story that needs fluidity.

I can invite all the people I know to read my story. I can welcome them all. All the people I invite though can only enter through the emotional door I open. If I am static then the door to my feelings remains closed and all who are welcomed keep running into walls. They are blocked from identifying with my feelings and experiences. If I am fluid letting the feelings of the experience run free in my story then everyone I welcome walks through the door crying, laughing, feeling their own feelings about my experience.

On the days when it seems too hard to write, when we are too busy we may look at the day as a throwaway day. Playing the mind game of believing I have days I can afford to throwaway saps my energy to write. I become a victim of my own thinking, my negative thoughts and I stop paying attention to what is important--writing.

It is not important what I write all that is important is that I do write. Even if I write just my senses, what the room sounds life, smells like, looks like, what the air tastes like, what the laptop feels like I am writing. I can be mindful of the feelings I am experiencing in the experience of what my senses are doing.

I cannot afford to throwaway any more days like I have more than I need. I must stop seeing my writing life as disposable. Each day I am able to write is a gift that I must notice and appreciate. The day is important enough to stand alone, all by itself; it is noteworthy and valuable all on its own without me in it. No writing day is a throwaway day; I must stop believing I have days to throwaway………..