Day Ten

Good morning!!! Woke up to snowing falling on the deck and the sound of snow blowers in the neighborhood a perfect day to stay home and be prolific.

I'm still on the edge teetering back and forth between fear and faith, but the faith is 1% stronger today and that is all that matters. The point of me writing that I'm teetering is to gain control of those feelings and give them up to God. That 1% is the difference between being paralyzed with fear and having the courage to write.

My job is action I must lay the ground work for my own success. How success comes is up to God. Notice there isn't a question that success will come; the only question is what form success will take. Will it be monetary or will it be increased peace and contentment within myself or will it be both. Either way I have a muse that focuses my thoughts, a God that quiets my mind and a gift that lets me express my feelings, emotions and thoughts so that I may become connected to others like me. In and of itself this is more success than I've had in this whole lifetime of mine.

If I keep doing my part, the action, on a daily bases life will continue to grow into something beyond my wildest dreams. I feel like I have awakened from a comma or have been transported back to Earth after being kidnapped by aliens and taken to their planet. The world is filled with possibilities and instead of knowing this and thinking that these possibilities are for other people, today I feel those possibilities exist for me. I am worthy of a good life; a life beyond my wildest dreams.

The feelings of being good enough are hinged completely on living the way God wants me to live and not how I want to live. And when I say God I am not referring to any religious God. My God is of my understanding, of my creation and a product of me learning how to love, accept, tolerate and forgive myself and others as I feel love, acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness from this God of my understanding.

Living in accordance to God is the foundation for my action. I must take responsibility for my own life. Nickelback sings “don’t take the free ride in your own life” how true that is. Even up to a few days ago I wanted to take the easier softer way and let my muse live my life for me. I have a responsibility to live my own life and to have faith that my life will unfold the way it is meant to. The strange thing is that I feel like my life is turning into what it was always meant to be. I am not so special or unique that I cannot be a part of humanity, but I am so rare that I have something to offer humanity that only I can give. How is that for a paradox?  

I must do the action; the action being living the way God wants me to live. So today I share through my writing how I think, how I feel and what I am doing so that others can relate to my experience and I become a part of humanity. Ahhhh humanity, the one thing I never wanted to be a part of, but now can’t get enough of. God does have a sense of humor!!!!

Plan for the day: writing, writing, writing, CE, and preparing to print out the chapters of my book (ink cartridges were sent out yesterday). The muse wants to read the book....what if she doesn’t like it?

I'm feeling strangely quiet today. I slept well, woke up rested and need to have a productive day. I have a few short term goals that require $$$ so I best get to work.

Have a good day everyone!!! It's time to live this writer's life......write, write, write......don’t let me write alone…..