Confucius said, "You cannot create a statue by smashing the marble with a hammer, and you cannot by force of arms release the spirit or soul of man." The more I write and self-analyze in my writing the more awareness I have of self and the flaws of self. Notice I said flaws and not good qualities of self. It is my writing nature to focus on what is wrong in all I do instead of what is good.
When in my writing I notice a change in my thinking, a change in my perceptions and a change in my level of honesty it is because I have stopped focusing on what I believe doesn't shine in me. I have formulated a new, deeper, more honest awareness of who I am as a writer
. I am able to express my feelings more honestly simply because I am able to attach some good to them.
It is dishonest of me to think of only the negative of any experience or to express my feelings about a circumstance as all bad. Even if the only positive I bring away from an experience is that I’ve learned more about myself then there was some good in it, something to be grateful for in that situation. It is only in hindsight though that the positive and the good becomes available to me in my thinking process.
In the moment of an experience that isn't how I want it to be I feel and only see the negative. Barbara Grizzuti Harrison wrote, “. . . to have a crisis, and act upon it, is one thing. To dwell in perpetual crisis is another.” It is as I become able to write of the experience honestly that I am able to see it as not all hurtful, or sad, or negative. It is only in hindsight I see the changes in myself that have occurred and the change is always positive. With each rehashing of an experience in my writing my feelings and my part become clearer. As I am able to see more than the hurtful side of things I am able to write
a more well-rounded account of the experience that is honest and not skewed.
To replace the negative thoughts in my writing
with an honest perspective of nothing is all bad and no one person all wrong is a freedom of expression I get as a writer that I chase. When I write of an experience I accept it as it is and for what it was meant to teach me. With each character, each story within that character’s life I am reaching into the essence of me. I am resurrecting experiences and feeling that have brought me to the very moment I am sitting in at the laptop.
Today as I reflect on experiences and write of my feelings and the parts I played and others played in those experiences I am going to pay close attention to the truth I am telling of myself and others in the story. The truth must reflect good and bad, positive and negative. I must reflect and write long enough that I combine my all-negative emotions with positive truths in order to create a realistic balance in my story.
To create a story and characters a reader will identify with I must write all sides not just the side I am comfortable with or that has affected me. As a writer what I teach myself in my writing is up to me and no one else. Writing is a growing process
for this writer. I must embrace the process of self-discovery that my writing brings to me. I must have patience. I must feel the discomfort during my reflection on circumstances, experiences and feelings that altered my life and my psyche whether I wanted them to or not.
I cannot fix all that is wrong with my story in a single day. Sometimes the best fix is to accept that right now the story or character cannot be fixed at all because I am not ready to face the solution. When I struggle with a character or a story it is because I am unwilling to be honest about my experience and feelings I am writing. I must step away from the laptop and reach out to my like-minded fellows. I must dig deep into my consciousness to reveal the truth of the matter. What my part was in the experience and what the other people’s part was.
Writing requires
me to always do an honest self-appraisal of how I am feeling and why I am feeling that way. I must turn what I don’t like into something that is productive in my writing. By turning what I am uncomfortable with into something productive in my writing I create a story and characters my readers identify with. I can give a reader the freedom to feel the despair they are too afraid to feel by writing a character that is able to act out the reader’s own suicidal fantasies. I can write out the calculated murder of a rapist and a rape victim becomes free to live out the same fantasy by identifying with my character.
Matthew Arnold wrote, “Resolve to be thyself and know that he who finds himself loses his misery.” In order for me to write so others identify I must turn my own discomfort into something useful and productive in my writing life. I must take risks, leap blindly and delve into my inner consciousness with complete abandon if I am to create a manuscript readers identify with. I must give my readers the opportunity to live out their fantasies through my characters. I must live, as others are too afraid to live.
When in my writing I notice a change in my thinking, a change in my perceptions and a change in my level of honesty it is because I have stopped focusing on what I believe doesn't shine in me. I have formulated a new, deeper, more honest awareness of who I am as a writer
. I am able to express my feelings more honestly simply because I am able to attach some good to them. It is dishonest of me to think of only the negative of any experience or to express my feelings about a circumstance as all bad. Even if the only positive I bring away from an experience is that I’ve learned more about myself then there was some good in it, something to be grateful for in that situation. It is only in hindsight though that the positive and the good becomes available to me in my thinking process.
In the moment of an experience that isn't how I want it to be I feel and only see the negative. Barbara Grizzuti Harrison wrote, “. . . to have a crisis, and act upon it, is one thing. To dwell in perpetual crisis is another.” It is as I become able to write of the experience honestly that I am able to see it as not all hurtful, or sad, or negative. It is only in hindsight I see the changes in myself that have occurred and the change is always positive. With each rehashing of an experience in my writing my feelings and my part become clearer. As I am able to see more than the hurtful side of things I am able to write
a more well-rounded account of the experience that is honest and not skewed. To replace the negative thoughts in my writing
with an honest perspective of nothing is all bad and no one person all wrong is a freedom of expression I get as a writer that I chase. When I write of an experience I accept it as it is and for what it was meant to teach me. With each character, each story within that character’s life I am reaching into the essence of me. I am resurrecting experiences and feeling that have brought me to the very moment I am sitting in at the laptop. Today as I reflect on experiences and write of my feelings and the parts I played and others played in those experiences I am going to pay close attention to the truth I am telling of myself and others in the story. The truth must reflect good and bad, positive and negative. I must reflect and write long enough that I combine my all-negative emotions with positive truths in order to create a realistic balance in my story.
To create a story and characters a reader will identify with I must write all sides not just the side I am comfortable with or that has affected me. As a writer what I teach myself in my writing is up to me and no one else. Writing is a growing process
for this writer. I must embrace the process of self-discovery that my writing brings to me. I must have patience. I must feel the discomfort during my reflection on circumstances, experiences and feelings that altered my life and my psyche whether I wanted them to or not. I cannot fix all that is wrong with my story in a single day. Sometimes the best fix is to accept that right now the story or character cannot be fixed at all because I am not ready to face the solution. When I struggle with a character or a story it is because I am unwilling to be honest about my experience and feelings I am writing. I must step away from the laptop and reach out to my like-minded fellows. I must dig deep into my consciousness to reveal the truth of the matter. What my part was in the experience and what the other people’s part was.
Writing requires
me to always do an honest self-appraisal of how I am feeling and why I am feeling that way. I must turn what I don’t like into something that is productive in my writing. By turning what I am uncomfortable with into something productive in my writing I create a story and characters my readers identify with. I can give a reader the freedom to feel the despair they are too afraid to feel by writing a character that is able to act out the reader’s own suicidal fantasies. I can write out the calculated murder of a rapist and a rape victim becomes free to live out the same fantasy by identifying with my character. Matthew Arnold wrote, “Resolve to be thyself and know that he who finds himself loses his misery.” In order for me to write so others identify I must turn my own discomfort into something useful and productive in my writing life. I must take risks, leap blindly and delve into my inner consciousness with complete abandon if I am to create a manuscript readers identify with. I must give my readers the opportunity to live out their fantasies through my characters. I must live, as others are too afraid to live.
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