Why Do I Write?

I write out of necessity because my feelings are bigger than I am. I am completely over sensitive feeling far more love, sorrow, fear, anger, joy, happiness and aloneness than the person standing next me, but how do I know that perception is true? I don’t, but just the thought that I feel more separates me and makes me unique which is why I must get those overwhelming feelings out of me. I crave being taken outside of myself; any experience of strong emotion distracts me from the path that I am on to be a part of an audience that is greater than myself.

Each moment of the day I can choose what I am going to do with my emotions. I can have my heart broken and survive it if I choose to do something constructive with the feelings. I can feel anger and even have it escalate to rage and not harm anyone if I choose to do something constructive with the feelings. And isn’t that what writing is, doing something constructive with my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts, myself?

Change is the only law in life that remains consistent. That is a paradox my friends. The most consistent thing in my life is that nothing ever stays the same.

In writing my feelings I am accepting them fully for no more than what they are—thoughts that continuously change. That’s all a feeling is, is a thought that has changed. The more I write my thoughts the more I accept them fully. When I am open to acceptance I am a part of all that exists. My feelings flow I cling to nothing. This is a rare occurrence.

Paul Valery wrote: “….we ourselves are only fragments of existence, and our lived life does not fill the whole of our capacity to feel and to conceive.” My feelings are bigger than I will ever be so I must write them out to release me from the bondage of being me.